Can you have friends if you have Lupus?

The other day I woke up in the afternoon after a long sleepless night and saw a message from a friend asking me to go to lunch.  I messaged her and apologized for not answering and made plans to go to lunch the next day.

Well, that evening I couldn't sleep and ended up falling asleep at 7:30 am. Can you guess what happened?  I didn't wake up in time for lunch. In fact,  I woke up at 6:00 pm. I felt like such a horrible friend especially after I grabbed my phone and saw her messages. I was too much of a coward to call her so I sent her a message trying to explain.

I tried to make up for it by asking her out for dinner, but even if she had said yes I don't know if I could have gotten out of bed; my body ached so badly! She was going to go running so she couldn't go to dinner and she said she understood but I felt like such a flake.

I don't have many friends left, not only because I am married and have children but now that I have Lupus,  I have almost lost them all including family. My family is still my family but many of them, like my cousins, are no longer close to me. We have grown apart.

I have missed too many birthday parties and get togethers. I wonder if this happens to others who have Lupus, sjogrens syndrome,  or fibromyalgia or people like me who have all three. I just wonder.

Well I have a third chance to make it to a late lunch with my friend tomorrow at 2 pm so wish me luck! 

GRIPES

◇extreme fatigue

◇insomnia

◇joint stiffness/aches

◇stomach issues

GRATITUDES

◇It's summer and I don't have to work! (Teacher)

◇My children are healthy and happy!

◇My husband is being very supportive! 

Lupus is back....damn it!

Okay so before I start bitching, let me start with the positives. (For the sake of positivity)

Gratitudes
◇ I woke up before noon
◇ I left the house today
◇ I walked 2 miles last night
◇ I made a boutique style bow for my daughter

So now that I listed the good, it might be easy to see what might be included in the bad. Last night, I went for a walk with my husband and jumped from walking one mile to two. I felt so proud of myself, but it is at these moments that Lupus reminds me that I am not normal. It literally kicks my ass as if to say, "hello, did you forget you are a sick person? Don't make me remind you again!" My body feels as if someone punched me all over.

I seriously want to, and have to, lose weight. I wanted to start walking every day in order to lose the 30 pounds I gained this year, but it is so difficult when your own body attacks you. So what have I learned? Take it slow and easy STUPID. I am determined to stop blowing up like a whale so no matter how many pills I have to pop tomorrow,  I am going to walk at least a mile. I am going to walk a mile every other day and then move on to a mile a day. I am going to take it slow but I am going to keep moving. This disease has robbed me of so many things, but I am going to fight it every step of the way!

Gripes
◇ fever
◇ joint aches
◇ muscle pain
◇ stomach pain
◇ fatigue

Summer is flying by!

Summer is flying by.  In case you haven't read any of my other posts, I am a teacher and am on a two month vacation from work! It is really flying by way too fast!

I have managed to go on two trips. One with my family to the river and a couple trip to New Orleans.  I am pretty satisfied with myself-that I was able to endure the activity and survive the weeks after.

Of course,  getting to sleep in every day and not having to go to work sure makes things so much better!  I have been working since I was sixteen years old, but it would make the quality of my life so much better if I didn't have to work anymore.  It is so hard to be a teacher and a mother with Lupus.

One thing that has been helping me other than tons of rest is gratitude. Being able to just look at the little things in my life that bring me joy and being grateful for the things I can accomplish have made me so much happier.   So here is a list of my "gratitudes":

Gratitudes
☆I walked one mile today
☆I made dinner instead of take-out
☆I wrote a blog entry