I am struggling. I am struggling with my weight. I am struggling with pain. I am struggling with getting out of bed. I am struggling pretty much alone because even the people who care FOR you get tired of caring ABOUT you.
Jeez it seems that in this day and age there would be a cure for the myriad of illnesses that are holding me hostage but no I am forced to take medicines that fix one thing and cause another but it is only an illusion because I am NEVER really better. I have pain somewhere all the damn time and I swear it is lonely. No one around me gets it and it really makes me feel so much worse.
I read many blogs of people who struggle with lupus and fibromyalgia and Sjogrens syndrome and arthritis and scleroderma and hypothyroidism and manage to have a positive attitude and outlook but I don't know why I can't. Do other people have great doctors and friends? I keep going to doctors and they are nice and well meaning but they don't ever have answers...just more doctors and more pills or injections. It is pretty damn hard to feel positive when something is constantly attacking my body from the inside-a phantom menace inside just destroying my hips one day then stabbing the top of my foot the next or shooting fire up my spine or down my leg. So I am struggling with all of this all by myself while my family and the few friends I have left just look at me with pity and go on with their normal lives. I seriously don't know how all of you do it.
