Suprise!

If I could say one thing positive thing about Lupus it is that it is never boring and predictable. I am surprised by new symptoms every day. It never ceases to surprise me.

Last night, aside from being exhausted and achy, I started to get extreme pain in my collarbone; actually radiated from my collarbone to my shoulder joint. I took my usual pain fighter-hydrocodone-and not only did it not go away, but it only got worse. The only way I could explain this pain, is that it was similar to the pain I felt about an hour after I broke my arm: you know, a shooting, stabbing pain that radiates?

You would think that I would be used to aches and pains by now, but it actually scared me. I sat in bed and cried on my husband's shoulder: one, because it hurt of course, but two because it was so much pain it just scared me thinking that it could potentially get worse! Well, I drugged myself with pain killers and anti-anxiety medication and I finally went to bed.

On the bright side, I actually went to work (woo hoo!) and I felt pretty good. I even had enough energy to have a UIL Poetry and Prose meeting AND a student council meeting after school! Just a glimpse of the old me: a woman who could come up with innovative lessons at work, meet with the kids after-school, run home   and pick up the kids, take them all to their respective practices, get home feed them, and then after all that, bathe them and put them to bed with a good book.

Nowadays, I feed the kids in the dining room, but I eat in bed. I don't always get them to ballet or soccer, and if I don't fall asleep, I help with homework in my bed. I have to hope and pray that I will get better soon, because if I don't, I don't know how I can continue. What everyone should know about people with Lupus is that it takes an enormous amount of effort to do the smallest and easiest things: getting out of bed, taking a bath, going to the grocery store, washing, cooking, putting on my make-up, getting dressed, etc. If you know anyone with Lupus, please don't feel sorry about it, just understand it.