Wow I'm fat?!

This is the A-Ha picture-My face looks like a pancake!

Okay so I haven't blogged because of course I felt like shit yada yada yada.  But I came to a startling realization today: I'm fat.

Don't even laugh!  Have you ever noticed you were gaining weight but then all of a sudden you look at a picture of yourself and say;  "oh my God I'm fat!?" That is what happened to me.  I know what you are thinking...don't you look in the mirror?  Yes but I didn't see myself SO big.

So yeah I'm a little depressed.  In my whole life I have gone up and down in weight and it wasn't that big of a deal.  I have never dieted or gone to the gym. I walk and do yoga, but even at my heaviest (during 5 of my pregnancies) I never surpased 160. I have now reached 180. Oh and I am not pregnant.

This is me in 2008-when I looked normal :-(

Symptoms Today

• Crazy itchy face, neck and arms
• EXTREME FATIGUE
• nausea
• Slight joint pain

I'm grateful:

• I took my daughter to her first ballet photo shoot
• I made it through four days of work

Weight gain and tv

This year I have gained so much weight it is starting to bother me. I don't diet and going up and down in sizes usually doesn't bother me too much. But, I am now getting bothered because skin is touching skin! I see and feel my double chin and rubbing thighs so I decide to do what I never do: diet and exercise.

Even more crazy I started using a fitness app that keeps track of my calories and exercise so I could lose weight. now, everyone knows prednisone makes you gain weight but I just realized just how much.

As I was using this app, I thought it would be hard to stay under the calorie limit to lose weight but day after day I was under the allowed calorie intake without even trying! So I should have been losing weight right? No! I am gaining?! What the hell!

So I came to the Conclusion that it isn't just that I live in bed watching TV without exercising that is making me fat, it is the medicine. I mean really, not just as an excuse and doing what everyone suggests, eating right and exercising, doesn't always work when you have lupus.

I say lay in bed and watch TV till your hearts' content and don't feel bad about it! You need your rest and if Prednisone makes you feel belts to hell with it if it makes you fat. Make yourself comfy and join Get Glue or Viggle and get something out of your forced bedrest. I do! I have earned over 100 stickers on Get Glue, and I am on my way to earning fine merchandise on Viggle just by watching TV.